Cleveland: Our Economy's Based on Lebron James

Hopefully most of you came across the first version of "Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video." If not, here is the link.

However, here is the second version of the faux advertisement where it claims that the Cleveland economy is based on Lebron James.

That is completely not true, there are many things that make the Cleveland economy profitable.

(Thinks about it for thirty minutes)

Okay, maybe I was wrong. Oh well, "At least, it's not Detroit."

(Courtesy of Warming Glow and Kissing Suzy Kolber)

By Ben Chew with No comments

If Charles Barkley could only eat one meal, What Would it Be?

For the past couple of weeks, Inside the NBA has been pimpin, "The Barkley Zone" where Charles Barkley does interviews, random musings, and answer some of the questions that the public sends to him.

One question that I took note of in "The Barkley Zone" was "If you could only eat one meal, what would it be?

The answer may suprise you.....

By Ben Chew with No comments

Steve Holman will be losing his job in 3.....2.....1.....

Atlanta Hawks radio play by play man Steve Holman of 790 the Zone made some questionable comments about Miami Heat star Dwayne Wade in the Hawks game five victory over the Heat.

Holman goes onto a little rant on air where he talks about Dwayne Wade crying to officials, Miami Heat basketball has resorted to thuggery, and Dwayne Wade being Dwayne Wade.

To be honest, I was entertained by the rant but it just proves that "Homer announcers" will never die. Holman on some level did cross the line between being professional and being entertaining. I understand that Dwayne Wade can get preferential treatment from officials but that is common knowledge in the NBA that stars will always get the benefit of the doubt with certain calls. The rant just comes off as a bit ignorant and poorly-executed.

At this point, I think Steve should be worried about his job more than Dwayne Wade.

(Courtesy of Larry Brown Sports)

By Ben Chew with 1 comment

Ron Artest calls Barkley Overrated, Roy GOAT

Heading into these 2009 NBA playoffs, we all knew the marquee match-up to look for was Lebron-Kobe, and comparisons were on everyone's lips. Ron Artest, however, said Wednesday night that Brandon Roy is, in fact, the best player he's ever played against (see above. also: a shakier version including the obligatory TNT studio ribbing feat. C-Webb). He went on to say that he'd have loved to have played against MJ in his prime (and that Jordan shared the sentiment), conjecturing that His Airness would've "given" the Artest still known as Artest 50 points. Odd how a defensive player would see a high scoring endeavor from his cover as a gift. Keep in mind that one of these summer battles Artest mentions saw him break a aging G.O.A.T.'s rib and suck out the marrow. But Ron-Ron's always been a little different.

Which brings us to the juicy meat of our dribble. When asked to measure up the TNT broadcast crew, Artest ignored Kenny and EJ but went right at the soft front-belly of Sir Charles, calling the Round Mound of Rebound "a bit overrated," "a little small," and adding "he had no defense." Now, it's a moot point whether Barkley or Artest are better, although the Chuckster is a pretty certain hall of famer, while Artest ain't so shirley (unless that comes with a side helping of Paul, mind you). There are two important quibbles, though. First of all, Ron probably hasn't seen Charles lately, as no one with 20/20 would call MJ's golf buddy "small." Secondly, the truly salient point to argue is who is funnier. Artest with his sometime monotone and always over the top and plummeting back down again? Or Barkley with his rolling good humor and outspoken Occam's Razor-ness? To settle this, we present you with representative videos of both humorists:

As a final note, keep in mind this isn't the first time Artest has verbally dissed Barkley, nor is it the first time a player has taken a swipe (that's King James, by the by) at the tv persona that is Charles Barkley.

By snagamat with No comments

Family Guy takes a bite out of Michael Vick

During last weekend's episode of Family Guy titled "Stew-roids", former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was the target of one of their cut-away jokes .

Honestly, it is either more appaling or funny if I do not tell you what the joke is.

In the end, I'll let you be the judge.

(Courtesy of First Cuts)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Today's Moment of Zen: Okay, Charles Barkley is not Wolverine. Rick Fox is.

In Today's edition of the Moment of Zen, we had a prior installment of this series where we claimed that Charles Barkley was Wolverine because of this NBA on TNT commercial.

Well, we were wrong. Former Lakers forward Rick Fox is or at least he claims to be in this video.

Prior to the Lakers first round victory, Fox was seen well. Just watch the video, you will get the idea from there.

(Courtesy of Ball Don't Lie)

By Ben Chew with 1 comment

Craig Ehlo's got this!

Everyone pretty much knows about "The Shot" that Michael Jordan hit against the Cleveland Cavaliers to vault them from the first round in 1989.

However, did you know what actually transpired in the huddle before the shot?

Some intrepid Cleveland improv actors show us what really went down in this installment of "Great Moments in Cleveland Sports History."

"Craig Ehlo's Got This!"

(Courtesy of NESW Sports)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Does the Happy Gilmore Swing actually work?

Remember the Adam Sandler movie, Happy Gilmore? Most of you probably do but for those of you that do not, Adam Sandler plays an aspiring hockey player who takes up golf to pay for his grandmother's unpaid taxes.

Sandler in the movie is known for the run-up swing that hits the ball a lengthy distance. Well, the people at Sports Science wondered if running up to the ball and swinging actually made a difference in the length that the ball traveled. So they enlisted the help of PGA player Padraig Harrington and the results are in the video above.

Also, the best moment of Happy Gilmore will always be Bob Barker beating up Adam Sandler:



"The Price is Wrong, Bitch."

(Courtesy of Devil Ball Golf)

By Ben Chew with No comments

2 A.M. Two-Fer: Dwight Howard Throwin' Dem Bows!

What up home skillets? Presentation out of the way, let's get you s'more NBA action. Honestly, the muy-muy deep west rungs have proven sodden and Chris Dudley like (not hating on the man - gotta commend any athlete who played through diabetes - just hating on the flat-footed game and the wet-noodle in the chamber name). I mean, just drubbing after drubbing (a 58 point loss? they should just give the Hornets a mercy rule buh-bye already). Howard-ever, the East has given us a few truly rousing first round match-ups. Lebron and Co. dominated, which was exhilirating despite its brevity. Dwayne Wade vs. the Atlanta Falcons I mean Hawks? Who knows what's up with that series. And the Celtics-Bulls feels more epic, really, than the trumped up Celtics-Lakers media frenzy of last year's finals.

But the emergent diamond in the rough? Magic-Sixers. Sure, it's a match-up thing. But so was Magic-Pistons. The point is, we're seeing marquee performances by multiple participants in this bout. Iguodala has stepped up, demanding the raves for his defensive prowess by showering us with some O. Turkoglu has proven SVG right about going to him late. And then there's D-Ho. He nailed the free throws to tie it up in Game 3. In Game 5, he went Malone on the 76ers. After the game, he said, "It's not like I'm out there trying to hurt anybody." But please, Dwight! Please! Thsi is what we want to see out of you. For Patrick Chewing's sake, throw them bows! Do like Damp, in fact (I can't believe I'm typing that), and lay 'em on their backs! Don't, of course, send the surging Courtney Lee to the hospital again, but still, more plays like this please:

By snagamat with No comments

NHL 2009 second-round playoff predictions

Also at The FDH Lounge Multimedia Magazine.

I started at a schweet 7-1 clip in the first round, marred only by a wrong guess on the 4-5 matchup in the East (so sue me!). My picks included the 1-8 upset in the West, so if you joined me in predicting that the Sharks would step on their collective johnsons for yet another season in the playoffs and you had any caysh down on the Ducks straight-up, you should have earned 2 1/2 times what you wagered. You're welcome!

The previous prediction about a Boston-Vancouver Stanley Cup Final was predicated on Chris Osgood continuing to bumble about for the Wings as he did during the regular season. Instead, he was absolutely sensational in the conference quarterfinals (except for the middle of Game Four) and he drew motivation from all of the doubters -- myself most definitely included. I proclaimed him the biggest X-factor in the entire playoff tournament and since he has answered the bell in fine fashion, The Road To The Cup still runs through Hockeytown until somebody proves that they can knock the champs out definitively.

SECOND ROUND
EAST
Boston over Carolina in 6
Pittsburgh over Washington in 7

WEST
Detroit over Anaheim in 6
Vancouver over Chicago in 6

CONFERENCE FINALS
EAST
Boston over Pittsburgh in 5

WEST
Detroit over Vancouver in 6

STANLEY CUP FINALS
Detroit over Boston in 6

CONN SMYTHE WINNER: Pavel Datsyuk

By Rick Morris with No comments

Frank Thomas would like you to buy something with five Z's in it

Remember Chicago White Sox slugger Frank Thomas? Well, the "Big Hurt" is now peddling an energy drink mix called, "ZizZazz."

It says to have only ten calories along with some essential B vitamins. All you have to do is mix it with some water.

You have got to love the "Shake It Up" tagline at the end with all of his fans which in the commercial appears to be a community church group. Along with the line of Frank Thomas love of espressos and energy drinks.

Can you picture the Big Hurt in your local Starbucks sippin on a cappuccino? For some reason, I can't.

By Ben Chew with 1 comment

Carl Edwards channeled his inner Ricky Bobby

During last Sunday's race at Talladega, Carl Edwards got into a late crash before finishing and then brought out shades of Will Ferrell character in Talladega Nights, "Rick Bobby" by running across the finish line.

Kudos to NESW Sports for providing this mash-up of the actual race along with scenes from the movie.

By the way, here is also the clip from Talladega Nights of Ricky Bobby running around thinking that he is on fire.



Also, here is the possibly the funniest clip in the movie with Amy Adams and Will Ferrell with "Inspirational Speech":



"Things are going to get crazy, we're going to make animal noises."

(Courtesy of NESW Sports)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Wait, Let me see that Teebow

In a story that can only be read to be believe, the Tim Tebow idolization has gotten to the point where there is a thong panty named after him.

The Teebow is in Florida Gator colors along with some styles having a number 15 logo on the back to signify Tebow.

I honestly do not have words to describe this story. However, I have a feeling that at least ten of you just fantasized about Erin Andrews wearing one.

(Courtesy of Deuce of Davenport)

By Ben Chew with No comments

The Day ESPN.com turned into a Magical Kingdom with Unicorns (with Video Proof)

During today's rush of NFL Draft grades and NBA playoff games, someone came across an interesting occurance when you enter the Konami code on the ESPN.com website. (For those who do not know it is, Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A)

Yep, the ESPN.com webpage was flooded with rainbows, unicorns, and other magical images.

It is still unknown why the Konami Code turned ESPN.com into "A 9-year old girls dream" but we believe it has something to do with the web designer planting the code into the new redesign.

It even makes the Oakland Raiders draft appear magical.

(Courtesy of Kotaku)

By Ben Chew with No comments

So that's what Charles Barkley thinks about...

On last night's edition of Inside the NBA, Ernie Johnson's Neat-O Stat of Night was sponsored by Panasonic Viera which obviously gave them an opportunity to show their nice new 103-inch flat-screen in the studio.

Then Ernie mentioned that it was so nice that it could tell what they were thinking and then hilarity ensues.

For the reason for the Kenny Smith joke, go to this clip to find out the reason why.

By Ben Chew with 1 comment

Stealing Home with Jacoby Ellsbury

For some strange reason, I have a feeling that most of you missed this steal of home by Red Sox outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury.

This happened in the bottom of the 5th inning in the Red Sox 4-1 win against their hated rivals in the New York Yankees. The Sox have won ten in a row and swept the Yankees at Fenway Park.

The last player to steal home for the Red Sox was Jose Offerman in 1999. (However this is disputed since it was not a "straight steal" of home, then would be Billy Hatcher in 1994.)

(Courtesy of Fan IQ)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Meeting Mr. Irrelevant: Ryan Succop

I have a feeling that most of you know the big names in the 2009 NFL Draft. Everyone knows that the first pick was quarterback Matthew Stafford of Georgia going to the Detroit Lions.

However, I have some feeling that most of you have no clue who Ryan Succop is. He is this year's Mr Irrelevant or to put it in plain terms, the last pick in the draft. The Chiefs held the pick and decided on the South Carolina place kicker/punter.

Here are some interesting facts about Succop:

->Succop double-majored at South Carolina in finance and real estate along with a minor in computer science
->Succop as a freshman handled the kick-off duties with a 62.3 yard average
->Succop was a semi-finalist in 2006 for the Lou Groza Award
->Succop was an Associated Press honorable mention All-SEC in 2006
->Succop career field goal numbers at South Carolina: 29 of 39 which translates to 74.4% FG percentage.
->Succop also punted at South Carolina with an average of 42.3 yards per punt
->Succop in high-school was the fourth best kicking prospect in the Nation.

The one positive for Succop is that he only has to beat out 2nd year kicker Connor Barth for a starting kicking job. The issue with that is last year Barth was 10/12 on field goals and perfect regarding extra points.

Oh well, at least he gets to chill on a boat for being Mr. Irrelevant. Where is T-Pain when you need him?

By Ben Chew with No comments

Fantasy Baseball: Burning up the Waiver Wire

Also at The FDH Fantasy Newsletter at the FantasyDrafthelp.com blog.

Here are the players who had double-digit changes in ownership in CBS Sports leagues last week:

^ Marco Scutaro: 42% to 76%, +34 – Picking him up now is almost the epitome of rear-view mirror thinking

^ Endy Chavez: 6% to 23%, +17 – This is a good move for OF depth, but not much more.

^ Eric Stults: 8% to 20%, +12 – It’s a good short-term move, but he’ll struggle to keep his job over time.

^ Bradley Bergeson: 0% to 10%, +10 – He’s excellent rotation depth, since the Os need pitching and he’s a good prospect but he’s not one of the great ones still in the minors who they’re afraid to bring up too soon – so he’ll have a decently long leash.

^ Zack Miner: 17% to 6%, -11 – He should continue to get opportunities in Detroit given the putrid state of their pitching, but his upside isn’t that high.

By Rick Morris with No comments

Fantasy Baseball: Buy Low

Also at The FDH Fantasy Newsletter at the FantasyDrafthelp.com blog.

NOTE: You’ll notice that we aren’t listing three high-profile pitchers in this mix: Fausto Carmona, Francisco Liriano and Justin Verlander. Not everyone who is off to a slow start is a good candidate for this list. There appear to be unresolved issues with these pitchers at this point, and while all looked like decent bets to put the demons of ’08 behind them, it would be irresponsible to assume that they merit paying a high or even moderate price to acquire right now. Of course, as always our advice is not delivered in a vacuum, so if somebody in your league is conducting an absolute fire sale on any of these three, then by all means take a flyer on them.

^ Mark DeRosa: Given his tri-eligibility in 20-game leagues this year, he was probably much cheaper than he should have been in many drafts – so owners disgusted by his slow start may not be as attached to him since he may not have cost that much.

^ Adrian Beltre: He generally picks up as the season progresses, so if an owner in your league is ready to bust a cap in him, be in the right place at the right time.

^ JJ Hardy: He was pretty streaky last year as well, but he produced at a super-high level when hot. Buy him now at a low ebb if you can and just wait for him to carry your team when he gets hot.

^ Jake Peavy: Until and unless word surfaces about arm issues, don’t worry about this money pitcher. Throughout his career, he has had a few ugly starts interspersed here and there, so don’t sweat this mediocre start.

^ Jeremy Guthrie: He’s another pitcher who can be a bit up-and-down, so this point in time would be perfect for acquiring his services.

^ Randy Johnson: He’s shown enough this year, in an extreme pitcher’s park, to at least merit consideration as an end-of-the-rotation starter should he be available in your league.

By Rick Morris with No comments

NFL Draft winners and losers

Also at TheFDHLounge.com.

Anybody spinning for their team by telling you that "it takes three years to evaluate a draft class" is an absolutely ridiculous human being. Here are the teams that distinguished themselves the most, positively and negatively, this weekend:

[Oh, and if you need an additional point of reference, here's our PRO FOOTBALL DRAFTOLOGY 2009 guide with complete player rankings among many other features. And here are all the picks for Rounds 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.]

WINNERS

1 Jacksonville: Has anyone in recent memory acquired bookend OTs with their first two picks?

2 St. Louis: The new regime got off to a great start by acquiring legitimate OL and front seven anchors with their first two picks.

3 New England: This organization is always on the winner’s list. While they certainly could have benefited from staying put and picking OT Oher in the last first, the trio of early second-round picks will bring great help – especially local boy CB Butler.

4 Philadelphia: By taking another crack at a #1 WR and some much-needed RB help for Westbrook, this offense may take even another step forward.

5 Carolina: This grade is primarily associated with one pick: DE Brown in the second round. He could have gone as high as the early 20s, so the team got great value thanks in part to the preponderance of reaches by the draft losers. Also, don’t sleep on OG Robinson in the fifth round, one of the best overall values of the draft.

6 Arizona: Beanie Wells at 31? For a team that reached the Super Bowl last year with a sub-par running game? Look out NFC once again.

7 New York Jets: The Jets had a big hole at QB and they filled it in style. The players surrendered in the deal were negligible anyway.

8 Miami: Any other team would have made a ginormous reach to take Pat White in the second round. But not the ‘Fins. Our Senior Editor Jason Jones wrote prophetically before the draft about the damage that Miami could do with a QB such as White at the helm of the Wildcat offense. Game-planning Sparano’s boys just got that much more brutal.

9 Baltimore: A legitimate franchise LT in Michael Oher at 23? Who could blame Ozzie Newsome for giving off a good loud, “THAT … JUST … HAPPENED!” after the pick was announced?

10 Cincinnati: This is a qualified note of approval, inasmuch as OT Smith and LB Rey Rey are quite capable of becoming typical Bengals on the police blotter when exposed to that atmosphere. But they are potential cornerstone players, so even this sickly organization deserves some credit in that regard.

LOSERS

1 Oakland: Ah, good old Al Davis, reaching for a speedy wideout a good 15-20 spots ahead of where anyone else would have taken him. Value? Trading down? Al Davis knows not these things, which is why the team will never sufficiently augment their pathetic talent base while he’s still in charge.

2 Tampa Bay: The new crew really looks like they’re in over their heads. Project QB Josh Freeman and TE KW2 account for most of the impact draft picks of this draft. The brutal NFC South just acquired a new whipping boy for at least the next five years.

3 Cleveland: After a hiatus from the loser’s list during the Phil Savage days, Eric Mangini has brought back the suckage. Any time that a power-hungry head coach in charge asks you to believe that he’s right and the rest of the world is wrong about the value of the players selected where they were selected, he’s universally wrong.

4 Buffalo: What would the draft loser’s list be without the Bills? The only thing worse than reaching for the draft’s best center in the first round, as the Browns did, is reaching for the second-best center.

By Rick Morris with No comments

Saturday Matinee: Lost Okur-ences

The NBA playoffs have turned "chippy" and become low scoring events. Today is the weird day where series overtake each other and Game 3's (Hawks-Heat, Nugs-Hornets) occur on the same day as Game 4's (Lakers-Jazz, Spurs-Mavs). Popovich has already expressed his irritation at the odd scheduling, but it happens every year. Also occuring today, of course, is the NFL draft, the day when potential NFL players find out who will be there first set of teammates. In commemoration of all the chest-bumps, butt-pats, and the oh-so mundane hand-slaps, we give you this video of Mehmet Okur and Kosta Koufos left hanging by the Game 3 hero Carlos Boozer. Luckily, they move seamlessly into giving each other "knuckle love." Memo comes back into the line-up today, and it's certain he won't have to air five imaginary teammates at the free throw line. Which is what Andrew Bogut is reduced to here:

By snagamat with No comments

Jimmy Fallon has played Madden 2010 already.....

On last night's "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", Fallon had on Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald to talk about Madden 2010 and his role of being the cover athlete.

He then did an entertaining skit where he replaced an injured Kellen Clemens with failed results. The one impressive thing is the graphics shown from Madden 2010 which is arguably the best seen in a sports video game.



However, checking out the "Behind the scenes" section of Late Night shows Fallon playing an early copy of Madden 2010. If you needed another reason to hate Jimmy Fallon, you now have it.



Oh well, at least Fallon redeems himself by having Emily Deschanel on last night.

By Ben Chew with No comments

Epochrypha: The Sword of a Thousand Truths (Pt. 1)

In sporadically regular installments, OtB brings you a long-form joint re: NBA and its ontological extension unto all of sport. Epochrypha: writings or statements of questionable authorship or authenticity, but always impassioned and always with an eye on the times we're spectating in. Enjoy.

I've taken today off in order to complete some grad school writing, but first I have to get some of these thoughts off my chest, where they breed. Yesterday, though, at the day job, I went over this quote with my students: "All paradises, all utopias are designed by who is not there, by the people who are not allowed in." -Toni Morrison, 1998

Now, this quote is obviously sardonic and offers a biting critique of those who wave flaming swords at the entrance to Eden (not quite as entrancing as the Miles Davis impersonation the archangel Gabriel better be playing if I ever make it to heaven, eh? but it’s a nice story sandwiched between two gates). Id est white-separatists. And I appreciate it on that level. At the same time, I also think it can be important to keep the human actually outside the heavenly. For the sake and integrity of both. This has to do with advanced stats and reality, but first I have to drop a bit more lit on you.

Look, Borges wrote in "on exactitude in science" of a fake empire where the cartographers made maps so detailed they were exact replicas of the land they were meant to chart. Associated Content puts it nicely: "This made the perfect map perfectly useless." At the time, cartography was a much debated and controversial revelation, like phrenology or genetics. How far can you go before you're playing God? But, then, are we not also always inundations of representation? Does not our every word leer with symbolism, standing in place of that to which one is referring? As they say, the devil's in the details. And it can be seen in the much debated and controversial revelation of today: advanced statistics in basketball.

I've been thinking about this while watching the first throes of the post-season. I've been thinking about the purpose of the more and more telling statistical measures in comparison to the descriptions we put down in words. (For more on words vs. numbers and the conflation of such, see: gematria) Okay, they're both the attempt to recreate what goes on in sports. But, and this is not a rip on statistics, the one attempts to boil down games to their essential parts, while the other attempts to exult and extend that which has already been experienced. This was never more apparent than in the casual mention by some analyst that stats could one day replace the games completely. You take chaos theory and any other advanced mathematical conceptions you want to throw out there and, in theory, you could predict what the game would be without actually playing them. Of course, such a thing is said in jest. Still, it's chilling. A breather:



I’ve been wanting to run this (and I was reminded by that beer bottle throwing incident) for a hot second now. Why, because it somehow elegantly (praise Oldman, please) documents what goes on in a "train wreck." How people react to disaster, and how war stimulates an economy. Oldman's character Zorg posits that "life...comes from destruction, disorder, and chaos." He takes an empty glass (not half empty, mind you) and breaks it. He then goes on to explain that this simple act of destruction foments all kinds of heated and fecund sweepings of life. It's not Kierkegaard, I know, but bear with me. See, me? I think it's those invisible, never idle hands that make the world go round. They create the details. They type blog posts, just like this. Zorg? He's like the Kobes and Lebrons of this world (of basketball blogging), the Shaqs that break backboards and twitter about it, if you will. Me? I'm like the little Sasha Vujacic that sweeps up the broken glass.

Who else makes up these invisible hands? The statisticians. The John Hollingers and Kevin Peltons of the world. But also the guys who hand stats to EJ, Kenny, and Charles; the guys who look up the random stuff that comes up when Reggie and the Czar are letting hypotheticals fly. The 15 guys who work under Daryl Morey organizing databases. The ball boys. The guys who mop up the sweat when players fall to the hardwood, who keep the players from slipping and breaking their necks. The associated press writers who get no recognition for the recaps and releases they write. The guys who arrange highlight reels, in game. The cheerleaders. The fans. The stranger next to you who high fives you when D-Ho brings the hammer of Thor down. And Henry Abbot's right. It's not Dwight that makes the game for you (okay, it kinda is); it's the guy you don't even know, but with whom you form a strange kind of bond. It's that guy, that shared experience, which makes the games great.

This is why I think Outside the Boxscore and blogs like it are so important. And I know self-aggrandizing outfits generally dress up the navel gazing thing by looking around for people to whom they might glorify their navel, but look. My esteemed (by me, at least) colleagues don’t do this, and I’m not only talking about us. I’m talking about the entire blogosphere. I'm talking about every team that has ever retired a jersey for the fans. I'm talking about the invisibles as mentioned above. It’s not like I think fans or sports writers are in danger of losing this, of losing their subconscious understanding of the intangibles that make sports great; I just think it’s important to say it’s important once in awhile. I don't want us to get lost in the details, y'know? Furthermore, as the cartographers, we must continue to understand that every map has a legend. A parting note.

"As you enter positions of trust and power, dream a little before you think." - Toni Morrison

By snagamat with No comments

The Madden cover is released: 2 for the price of 1

My Bad, that's not the cover. This is the cover:

For the first time in Madden History, two players appear on the cover. Arizona Cardinals Wide Receiver Larry Fitzgerald and Pittsburgh Steelers Safety Troy Polamalu.

To be honest, I remember when this used to be a big deal when the Madden cover was released but now with Twitter/Facebook/MySpace/YouTube/HULU/Fantasy Sports and the bevy of other sites on the web, these announcements just are filler for Madden sites and blogs such as this one.

However when Madden is released that is a entirely different story:

By Ben Chew with No comments

Today's Moment of Zen: It's the NFL Draft, How will the Jets screw it up?

In Today's edition of the Moment of Zen, The NFL Draft is only a day away and I think we know what that means.

The New York Jets will make a bad selection and the fans will boo, or the Jets will make a good selection and the fans will boo.

Here is a quick compilation of some of the Jets worst picks. Oh well, at least the pick this year will be better than Roger Vick.

By Ben Chew with No comments

Epochrypha: Mumbo-Jumbo (Pt. 2 A.M.)

In sporadically regular installments, OtB brings you a long-form joint re: NBA and its ontological extension unto all of sport. Epochrypha: writings or statements of questionable authorship or authenticity, but always impassioned and always with an eye on the times we're spectating in. Enjoy.

Alright kiddies, temporarily suspending the "biweekly" label from Epochrypha in light of my recent track record. Things are just too helter skelter for the nonce, so maybe the twice-moonly moniker comes back in a fortnight or so. Anyway, all this talk about suspension has me thinking not about Rasheed but rather about Rondo. Why? Because he was assisted from the court Thursday night after scooting past the Bulls' defenders like Hermes (y'know, winged shoes) to the tune of 20-6-11 and 5 steals. It's a non-story. Not the ankle that he turned pre-post-season, he said, just sore feet. That's fine, but I was struck by the way he gamely put off the press. Above, you can check out the sublime David Aldridge reporting on the feet and the ankle. We also get a rare 2009 Ubuntu sighting, which has been rarely mentioned through the title defense run.

I have no problem believing there's nothing wrong with Rondo's feet (DA says it was just a bad tape job), but it does make me think about the Celtics tradition of mind games. They never played them like Phil Jackson does, with choice words seemingly dropped to the media. There's was more an intimidation through attrition. Attrition of one's sense of security, of one's sense of the reliability of reality, even. Look, there was a reason the old Boston Garden was so renowned. It was a bitch to play in for the opposition. The visitor's locker room was had the inverse Mark Cuban touch to it. Hissing pipes, no heat, the (non)works. And the parquet. The finishing touch, really. It had dead zones. The ball wouldn't bounce right in certain spots. And all the Celtics players knew it. And the visitors did not.

So, in light of the pitch perfect handling of the Garnett injury (there was no disappointing announcement until just before the playoffs, meaning there was no end of season let down in expectations and meaning that it served as a rallying cry heading in to the playoffs), I wanted to take a brief glance at the long Celtics history of fudging opponents' sense of reality.

A helping hand: I point you to Ishmael Reed's Mumbo-Jumbo. It documents (and re-defines the word as a verb) the spread of the Jes Grew plague. Via Rastafari Speaks: "When asked about the origins of the sudden explosion . . . an unnamed witness shrugged and said 'It jes grew!' . . . The Jes Grew epidemic was unlike physical plagues. Actually Jes Grew was an anti-plague. Some plagues caused the body to waste away; Jes Grew enlivened the host."

Forget Ubuntu. I'm saying the Celtics are employing all out Jes Grew tactics. What they're saying isn't what's real and we know it (and admire them for it). From Mumbo-Jumbo: "All that's all right, what you speak of, but that ain't all. There's more. And I bet that before the century is out ment will turn once more to mystery, to wonderment." This new batch of feints mean no opponent will know exactly what to expect. Will Rondo be off? Are they completely diminished by injuries? You can't go for the throat for fear it's all feigned. At the same time, you can't exactly get up for them because there're all these images floating around suggesting they're hurting.

Speaking of images, Rose with roses? Jalen, another Rose, with a nice one: "to appreciate the rose, you must appreciate the thorns." This ain't no american beauty. This is a modern day Eliot Ness, trying to take down the big, bad subterfugal (that's like centrifugal, a fictitious force) syndicate. Oh, and lastly? Another incongruity. This vid of Rajon Rondo advertising Red Bull? Obviously a gimmick (questionably) playing off the first round match-up. But more irregular? Rajon's lack of wings in the vid. Dude is straight sleepy. Get up for your promo, son!



More on veils and wool tomorrow, by the by.

By snagamat with No comments

Gotta Love a Gimmick - Hulk Hogan is Huge in Japan

I'm leaving for Scotland early tomorrow morning, but thought I'd give you this little gem before I left. It's for an air cooler...for babies...or something. I don't get what that has to do with Hulk Hogan, especially Hulk Hogan singing the names of the days of the week and humming.

But anyways, um, enjoy. So weird.

Also, I want to give some love to Jon Lajoie, who is freakin' hilarious. Here's two of his funnier videos, Show Me Your Genitals and Show Me Your Genitals 2.

By SpastikMooss with No comments

Today's Moment of Zen: What if Mel Kiper graded "real talent"?

In Today's Edition of The Moment of Zen, The NFL Draft is only two days but I actually got to wondering what if Mel Kiper did more than just grade NFL talent?

Well, in this video, Mel Kiper Jr. (or at least a solid parody of him) give us his picks on the Spring Draft.

Watch out for that "over-hyped" talent, Mel.

(Courtesy of Hugging Harold Reynolds)

By Ben Chew with No comments

The Top 5: Sometimes being “Obsessed” is a good thing

Usually, we find some out of work TV writers to write us their top 5 lists. In the end, we dispose and make our own anyway


1) Ali Larter: This week’s number one is Ali Larter who has a new movie coming out this Friday called, “Obsessed” where she plays a temp who is obsessed with her new boss played by Idris Elba.

Beyonce stars as Elba’s wife and promises an intense ending cat-fight scene between her and Ali Larter near the end of the movie.

Since we do not want Jay-Z to kick our asses, Larter is number #1 for this week


2) Who is Tim Tebow?: No, I’m sorry the answer was not Tim Tebow. Ken Jennings Pwned.



3) Chris Bosh parody of The Hills: You just need to watch it, nuff said.


4) Derrick Rose: Rose won the NBA Rookie of the Year award. OJ Mayo and Brook Lopez got nothing and liked it. Kevin Love, really did not like it and still got nothing.


5) Chicago Cubs Cat: Now, who do you got in a fight: Citi Field Cat or Wrigley Field Cat?

Stuff that missed the cut: Lindsay Soto’s cleavage, Reefer Madness caught up to Percy Harvin, Charles Barkley with Daisy Dukes on, and MLB Umpire Kerwin Danley wobbles and falls over.

By Ben Chew with No comments

At least one Hawk got to soar last night...

During last night's game two between the Miami Heat and the Atlanta Hawks, an actual Hawk got into the action.

Spirit, who is a trained Hawk that flies around during pre-game got loose and decided to make an appearance during the first quarter.

He perched on the TNT camera, the top of the backboard, and the top of the shot clock.

Spirit, in the end, was okay and his trainer eventually got him under control. In the microcosm that is life, The Heat ended up in control of the Hawks by the score of 108-93.

(Courtesy of That NBA Lottery Pick)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Sportscenter is bringing "Sexy Back"

With ESPN's new digs in Los Angeles, the stars are beginning to file through to see what the ESPN life was all about.

Last week it was Snoop Dogg, this week it is Justin Timberlake.

In the end, I think the ESPN ratings spiked 51% in teenage girls watching Sportscenter.

(Courtesy of Awful Announcing)

By Ben Chew with No comments

The Carolina Hurricanes played "Beat the Clock" against New Jersey

To be brutally honest the NHL playoffs have been more interesting than the NBA playoffs and last night was no exception.

In game four between the New Jersey Devils and the Carolina Hurricanes, the Canes' blew 3-0 goal advantage only to win it on a last second deflection by Jussi Jokinen with only 0.2 left on the clock.

The Carolina win ties the series at 2-2.

(Courtesy of Deadspin)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Coach K was on the Colbert Report, why didn't the college students tell me!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Mike Krzyzewski
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Gay Marriage Commercial

On last night's edition of the Colbert Report, Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski was Colbert's guest and was peddling his new book about the US Olympic team called "The Gold Standard: Building a World Class team."

The best line of the entire thing is when he calls Stephen Colbert, the "Lebron James" of the Colbert Report.

(Courtesy of First Cuts)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Gotta Love a Gimmick - Drew Carey in the Royal Rumble

You might know him from his former sitcom, or from his current job as host of the Price is Right, but did you know that Drew Carey once wrestled? Because he did...sort of.

In the 2001 Royal Rumble, Drew Carey entered fifth. After the Hardy Boys eliminated each other, Carey stood alone in the ring, and the audience cheered. But then Kane came in and, after Drew tried to shake his hand and bribe him with money, began the motions for a vicious chokeslam. Just then, however, Raven entered and attacked Kane from behind. Drew then stepped over the top rope and exited, eliminating himself from the Rumble. He then gave all the fans high fives on his way to the locker room.

So not much of a "wrestling" career since he never actually hit anybody, but i know I'd love to be in a Royal Rumble, so kudos to Drew.

By SpastikMooss with No comments

2 A.M. Two-fer: A Mountain of a Man

I was gonna write some voodoo tonight, but there's enough bad juju going around the NBA. In Game 2 against Portland, Houston's Dikembe Mutombo went down with a left knee injury and had to be taken off the court on a stretcher. The injury was first called a knee sprain, but reports from Oregon are now quoting Mutombo as needing surgery. The Oregonian quotes Dikembe Mutombo: "I'm going to need surgery. For me, basketball is over. I cried so much about it when I was laying on the floor." (via Truehoop) I didn't see the game, but word is the players surrounding the prone Mutombo were very concerned and emotional. No video on the 'net yet of the injury occurring, but you can rubber neck at train wrecks on someone else's time. For me, I want to look at all the good that has been Mutombo's career in the league. Above is a video the rockets put together last year, when it looked like he might retire after 07-08.

Some quick notes about Mutombo's outstanding achievements.

• Mutombo came to Georgetown in 1988 as a pre-med student. He hadn't intended to play basketball, but John Thompson recruited him.
• His full name is Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo. That would be my formal recommendation to the Great Sports Names Hall of Fame, by the way.
  
• He made 8 all-star bids and won defensive player of the year 4 times, the last of which came in 2001 on the way to a finals appearance with the Philadelphia 76ers.
• He also played a significant role in the Rockets' 21 game win steak in '07, standing in for the injured Yao Ming.
  
• He is 2nd all-time in blocks.
  
• His finger wag is one of the iconic gestures of 90's basketball.
• The image of him ecstatic at Denver's 1994 upset of the Seattle Supersonics is similarly iconic. Deke recorded 31 blocks in this 5 game series, which remains the record.
  
• He speaks 9 languages.
• He created the Dikembe Mutombo Foundation in his homeland The Democratic Republic of the Congo. The foundation was created to help improve living conditions, including a 9.6 per cent infant mortality rate.
• He funded and helped build the $29 million Biamba Marie Mutombo Hospital in Kinshasha, his hometown. George Bush recognized Mutombo's efforts in the 2007 state of the union address.
• He was also inducted into the World Sports Humanitarian Hall of Fame in 2007.

The title Mt. Mutombo is fitting, in that Dikembe was such a pillar of excellence, humility, and compassion. It's rare that you think of an athlete's work lasting beyond his career and the occasional retrospective highlight reel, but Mutombo's impact on the world and on basketball's consciousness of the world have been truly memorable. And yet, this too is not the entire story to Deke's time with the NBA. Not only was he an important player and incredible humanitarian, but he also proved to be a light-hearted soul whose raspy voice and rumbly laugh could light up a room like the sun sitting on the shoulders of a mountain. There are any number of fun Mutombo videos floating around the interweb, but my favorite is AWOL. I loved the commercial where he stood up and introduced himself to a room full of execs, perhaps humanitarians like himself or perhaps big wigs for insurance companies, I don't remember. But I liked it because they all seemed so astounded that this monumental man was in their midst, and if any NBA player was to astound that kind of crowd with his accomplishments as well as his stature, I'd want it to be Dikembe Mutombo. Here's another commercial he did, though, that showcases his multi-lingual capabilities.

By snagamat with No comments

The Cleveland Cavaliers get excited about making the NBA Playoffs

The Cleveland Cavaliers had a relatively easy victory over the Detroit Pistons in game two of their first round playoff series by the score of 94-82.

However, the Cavaliers have also become stars in their own viral video called "Cavaliers Playoff Proposal."

This is a parody of the Heineken ad called, "Walk In Fridge" which can be seen here.

I think Mo Williams and Delonte West are working on early Oscar buzz.

(Courtesy of That NBA Lottery Pick)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Today’s Moment of Zen: Run for your life, Charles Barkley is Wolverine!

In Today’s edition of the Moment of Zen, TNT showed an NBA on TNT commercial for X-Men’s Origins: Wolverine using Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith arguing over who is the more tougher X-Men, Gambit or Wolverine?

Barkley sides with Wolverine and Kenny likes Gambit, who wins in the end? You, the viewer.

I think I finally know how Barkley eats all those Krispy Kremes

(Courtesy of Awful Announcing)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Stay Classy, Washington Nationals

The Washington Nationals have not had a lot to cheer about this year being an astounding 2-10. However, Nationals outfielder Elijah Dukes was doing something good for his community by attending a little league charity event and speaking some encouraging words to the kids.

This issue with that was this charity event made him late to the Washington Nationals game against the Florida Marlins by an astounding five minutes. So what did the Washington Nationals and manager Manny Acta do, they fined him $500 and benched for the game.

Once the little league parents got word of this they decided to raise the money to pay Dukes’s fine. Here is more of the story from the Washington Post:

"The next day we're reading the paper, and we're hearing he was [fined and] benched," said Leslie McClain, mother of 11-year-old Luke. "We were just really horrified by that, so our first thought was we want to raise the money in the community to pay that fine. We just think it's appalling."

And so began the story of what is surely the most unusual fundraiser in the history of the Great Falls Little League. It started with a flurry of e-mails between incredulous parents and league organizers, and will end later this week when Mraz delivers exactly $501--the extra $1 covering any "administrative expenses," he said -- to the Nationals for the purpose of paying off Dukes's fine. Every dollar they get above that mark will be donated to a Southeast D.C. Little League in Dukes's name.

"The point is, this guy gave back to our community, and now he's in a hard spot. We need to help him," said Mraz, who emphasized he was looking to support Dukes and not criticize the Nationals. "It's not a question of whether this guy can afford the 500 bucks. We're just trying to send a message to our kids: He was here for us. Now we've got to be there for him."

It’s nice to see in such a trying economic time that people are still doing the right thing even if the individual was fined could afford it and paid for his appearance at the charity event. Shame on the Washington Nationals for continuing to keep up their crappy name by fining Dukes for attending a community event, also I do not buy that since it was not a team-sponsored event that he should not attend it.

Nationals manager Manny Acta was later quoted regarding the fine,

"We don't care how the money comes to us, because we don't keep the money," he said. "We give it to the clubhouse kids who are needy, or the extra coaches to help with their housing. It's not something [where] we're going to go out for wings and beers."

That might have been possible digging a bigger hole for the Washington Nationals since just makes it look like the organization is just, “cheap.”



Viva Los Expos! Long Live Youppi!

By Ben Chew with No comments

Justifying Vince Carter

Watching the NBA playoffs this weekend got me thinking about a player not actually in the Big Show this year. I grew up adoring Vince Carter; his was the first NBA jersey I bought and his shoes were the first (and only!) that I shelled out over $100 for. That was back in 2000, though, when VC was just hitting his prime. He killed in the dunk contest that year, putting together a performance that has yet to be equaled in the 9 years since. His ceiling was ostensibly infinite, until, of course, the walls came tumbling down on his incredible potential.

For years, he was branded as a lazy, money-hungry player who was nothing more than a cancer on whatever team was so unlucky to have him. Recently, though, I've felt a real re-emergence in the public's love for His Airness II. This year, he was the leader of a talented Nets squad, and played the role of experienced yet still-skilled veteran to up-and-comers Brook Lopez and Devin Harris. For the first time since coming to the Nets, after the departure of Jason Kidd and Richard Jefferson, he looked comfortable playing the role he was in. He's become a joy to watch again, and while I never lost my love for his incredible game, I finally felt justified in spending years and years of energy defending his actions. He may not have become the superstar we envisioned him turning out to be, but I'm ok with his legacy being that of an immensely talented player with one great claim to fame.

By Aseem N. Garg with No comments

NESN's Jack Edwards, "The Canadiens are Coming"

NESN's play by play man for the Boston Bruins Jack Edwards has always been a colorful announcer.

Nearing the end of game three with their playoff series against the Montreal Canadiens, a late goal by the Bruins Chuck Kobasew got Mr. Edwards a little patriotic with his call.

"The Canadiens are Coming, The Canadiens are Coming"

(Courtesy of Puck Daddy)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Fan Throws Beer Bottle on Court During Nugs-Hornets

This is a bit old in blog time, but I think it's still important to run. During the Denver-New Orleans game on Saturday, a fan actually through a beer bottle onto the court. It's really ridiculous when you consider the home team was winning by a huge margin and the Hornets weren't really doing anything worth such unpleasantries. It occurred in the waning seconds, and it wasn't the only incident players faced that night. Heading to the locker room for half time, Chris Paul also received a towel to the face from a fan. Reggie's on tap for cutting beer sales after the 3rd quarter. Me, I'm wondering why they're selling bottles and not plastic cups. Maybe Denver's really going overboard on combatting NOLA, and they decided to boycott plastic cups as they fuel most of the Bourbon Street shenanigans.

Anyway, it begs the question, when is fan involvement too much? We love the fans running to celebrate 715 with Hank Aaron. And we love charging football fields to cap a championship run. But the NBA's a little different. Despite having fans and cameramen right there on the court so that the players have to jump over them and potentially hurt themselves (something I've always questioned), the NBA doesn't generally see too many fans breaking that court 4th wall. And you just don't throw stuff at an NBA game (unless you want a Jermaine fist to the face), mostly because of the hard wood floor, which means objects and players break more easily. I found footage of one fan actually achieving the feat, though.

It occurs to me that part of it is probably that you can't get into the courtside area seats unless you're a big spender. And people who've paid that much to get that close don't really want to be thrown out. UPDATE (while I write): I just watched the Pistons-Pacers brawl from 2004 (what a sad night for basketball). I didn't know this. Apparently, beer bottles generally are sold at NBA games. How did I miss that? And how did the Comish miss that? Doesn't that seem like an oversight? In this vid, Jeff Foster "trips" the rampant fan. It's just scary to watch the carnage from 2004 and think anyone would risk that kind of altercation ever again.

By snagamat with No comments

Snoop Dogg makes another appearance on ESPN

Although this is not Snoop Dogg's first appearance on ESPN, (He did appear on Around the Horn with JA Adande) Snoop Dogg decided to drop by Sportscenter last week to break down the Top 10 regular season plays of the NBA this year along with Neil Everett and Stan Varett.

This might have been the first time that Neil Everett and Snoop Dogg were in the same room together. The real question was did Neil get those digits?

Man, ESPN is running out of rappers to get on air. What Next, Bloggers?

By Ben Chew with No comments

Today's Moment of Zen: "One Second" NHL commercial for Versus

In Today's edition of the Moment of Zen, the NHL playoffs have been hitting their stride as the TV network Versus has a dropped a new ad entitled, "One Second"

The play that is being shown is former New York Ranger Stephane Matteau wrap-around goal against the New Jersey Devils goaltender Martin Brodeur in the 1994 Eastern Conference Finals.

If memory serves me correct, the goal propelled the Rangers to the 1994 Stanley Cup Finals and their first Stanley Cup since 1940.

(Courtesy of Josh Q. Public)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Fantasy Baseball: Sell High

It's early, but not too early for some FantasyDrafthelp.com "Sell High" advice: the players who may likely be presenting you with an opportunity to pocket some early profit at the moment.

^ Kyle Lohse: He's the classic early-season example of a pitcher who's producing way above what would be a sustainable level. Dave Duncan is a great pitching coach, but not a miracle worker.

^ Kevin Millwood: At this point, he what his numbers over the past two years say that he is. Certainly, he's got to put up more good starts in this ballpark in the humidity he'll be facing all summer before you can say the old Millwood is back.

^ Aaron Harang: He's somewhat similar to Millwood in terms of the burden of proof that he has to surmount in that ballpark once the weather warms up a bit.

^ Nick Swisher: We see that some of our peers in the industry have him on their "buy" lists. True, he seems likely to surpass the production many had forecast for him, especially prior to the Xavier Nady injury. But remember that his career to date has been one of failing to live up to expectations, unrealistic though those might have been. We fear that his start is fueling more unrealistic "late bloomer" expectations.

^ Nelson Cruz: Is he the "Ryan Ludwick circa '08" of '09? He pretty much has to be if you're not going to collect your profit and move him now. That's not a chance we'd take.

^ Carlos Delgado: It's a sucker's bet to believe that he'll sustain this kind of production all year at his age, even in an admittedly friendlier hitter's park at home.

^ Adam Dunn: Ready to bet that he's banished his career-long hole in the swing? In that park? In that lineup? Yeah, we're not either.

Also, one more note: Josh Johnson showed up on our preseason "Sleeper" and "Undervalued" lists, based on the fact that we had him 32nd on our draft board at starting pitcher and the industry average we compiled had him at 40th. If you went by our draft board, you may well have been able to get him for your team as I did. If so, you're very welcome!

By Rick Morris with No comments

Mike Brown as COTY - Really?

Let's echo Seth Myers for a minute here: "Really? Really, NBA coaches?" After today's announcement that Cavaliers coach Mike Brown has been chosen the 2008-2009 NBA Coach of the Year by his peers, I gawked and cried at the potential after-effects. Let's recap: four out of the five last COTY winners are NO LONGER WITH THEIR TEAMS. Forget winning in the playoffs; these guys didn't win AT ALL in the following years. These esteemed gentlemen include the likes of Hubie Brown (almost as bad a coach as he is an analyst), Mike D'Antoni (he of "Defense? Que?" fame), and Avery Johnson (good coach, stuck with some bad roster choices, but still not up to the task). This certainly does not bode well for the Cavaliers' chances in the playoffs: none of these coaches were able to translate their winning regular season styles into championships.

Is Mike Brown the exception to the rule or the example that proves it? I read the ESPN/AP article today which explained the following: "The 38-year-old coach also has given more authority to his assistants, a sign of his maturity as a coach and confidence as a leader." Wait a second. "Really?" You're telling me he was voted Coach of the Year because he did LESS coaching this year? I would argue vehemently in his defense as a good coach (we Cleveland fans will defend him to the death or the first-round exit, whichever comes first), but only because he has learned how to be hands-off in his development as a coach. Does that entitle him to win an award designed to celebrate the best in coaching, not the lack thereof?

This really boils down to one issue. Phil Jackson won COTY once, in 1995-1996, when he took a team adjusting to having the best player in the world back full-time to a win-loss record that may never be approached again. The 72-10 Bulls team dealt with huge expectations, and Jackson was able to manage them and let Jordan do his thing. This, to me, feels like the same situation. Mike Brown was gifted with the best player in the world (MJ/LBJ) complemented by another All-Star (Pippen/Mo Williams) with a surrounding cast that knew exactly what their roles were. Erik Spoelstra, on the other hand, has exactly one good player on his team (nay, great) but is unfortunately surrounded otherwise by bumbling rookies and overpaid veterans. He took a rag-tag bunch to the 5th seed in the East playoffs by actually making an effort as a coach. Does he deserve to be slighted when coaches such as Jackson and Brown (I feel like there's a clothing or band name in there somewhere...) merely "managed expectations"?

Let's just hope that the Cavs can break the COTY Curse and make a year of it. Cleveland has beeen waiting for awhile; I'm hedging my bet that this won't push us in the wrong direction, but I've been wrong before. Especially about my town.

By Aseem N. Garg with 1 comment

Celebrating Outside the Boxscore's 500th post

We finally hit a milestone at Outside the Boxscore with our 500th post. Yes, I know many blogs have already hit well past the 1,000 mark but considering the likelihood that we would be already at our 500th post, I am shocked to begin with.

Here are some quick facts:

->There have been 57 versions of the Moment of Zen
->There have been 42 Great Name HOF posts
->There have been 21 Gotta Love a Gimmick Posts
->What is the most popular person on Outside the Boxscore? That is Sir Charles Barkley who has been featured in 16 different posts
->What is the team we have mentioned the most? The Arizona Cardinals with their Super Bowl run receiving 12 posts.
->The First post was about NFL Picks for Week 14 of the 2008 NFL season
->Post #499 was about Charles Barkley inability to eat bread in 45 seconds
->We started with one writer, now we have five writers

So how do we celebrate our 500th post? Very simply, with one thing.

One Liners from David Caruso



Congratulations to all of us at Outside the Boxscore!

By Ben Chew with No comments

Charles Barkley fails at eating a piece of bread in 45 seconds

Most of you know that the NBA playoffs have begun which only means one thing, Inside the NBA is almost on everyday.

Last night for EJ's Neat-O stat of the night, Chris Webber challenged Charles Barkley to finish a piece of bread in under 45 seconds.

Very sadly, Chuck failed.

(Courtesy of NESW Sports)

By Ben Chew with No comments

Gotta Love a Gimmick - Regis and Kathy Lee...and the Undertaker

So one gem I found recently was that a lot of ex wrestlers made appearances on Regis and Kathy Lee. Giant Gonzales, Steve Austin, Yokozuna, and, awesomest of all, the Undertaker. This was from back when WWF actors never broke character when in public, and so what you get is a ridiculous show where the Undertaker being creepy and badass and Regis being Regis collide. The result? Pure awesome.

It starts a little slow, but things get really good at the 2:36 mark, when Regis tries to get the Taker to look out from under his hat. And it only gets better from there, as Regis then throws Hulk Hogan dolls at Taker. Great stuff.

Also, there was a second Undertaker appearance where Regis ended up in a casket. Check that out here.

By SpastikMooss with No comments

Stepping Up: The Stone That The Builder Refused

Stepping Up is big games from little guys. Big meaning important though the boxscore might not show it. Little meaning lack of household-name-ness. Recognize.

The playoffs are where (amazing happens, but I kid) little guys make their names big. Stepping Up brings you the first NBA playoffs installment after a weekend of Game 1's. I figured I'd hit you up with a slice from each series. Y'know, get the juices going. It's hard not to rave about the big name players, so some of that might occur as a "side effect." For the most part, though, I'll try to give you the quiet things loud that you may have missed if your intent was not wholly attentive. When no glue guy (note: glue is generally transparent or at least translucent) sticks out, what I'ma throw at you is an "aspect," meaning a facet of some name-player's game that is not highly touted, that they're not known for. Okay, here we go!

Cavs-Pistons: Really, no surprises here. Lebron and Co. put 'em away. End of story.

Celtics-Bulls: We know the Celts are limping, and it wasn't a runaway W, but the Bulls still impressed. The entire team is kind of on the cusp of name recognition, so we'll go with the first of this installments aspect-props. Without Tyrus Thomas' jumpshot, this game ain't the same even with Derrick Rose's record tying effort. Apparently, Thomas' struggles from outside the paint just a hoax and he's been improving all along (via Dwyer). Still, it's impressive, (semi)unexpected, and big, big, big. Six points in overtime for Tyrus Thomas' jump shot. Count it!

Magic-Sixers: Didn't catch a lot of this one myself (you're bound to miss a few when you double as a grad school student/full time teacher...I guess that's three things), but Andre Iguodala looked crisp in the bits and pieces I caught. Here's to the sharp, multiple jab steps you took to get yourself free, Iggy. And, y'know, that jumper ain't half bad either. UPDATE: Right after posting this I found an e-mail in my inbox tipping me off that Donyell Marshall and Theo Ratliff both had nice games. Talk about turning back the clock.

Hawks-Heat: No surprises here either, at least not on the court. Josh Smith’s flash leadership perhaps, but you knew if anyone it would be him since JJ is a fader. Hawks fans, though, really brought it Sunday. It was so loud in Phillips Arena that the players couldn’t hear the coaches. The huddles actually moved out onto the court and away from the raucous crowd. You gotta think that that contributed to the Hawks running it up (or the Heat putting it down).

Lakers-Jazz: JVG turned a nice phrase with, "Ariza’n to..." live, or at least watch. Ariza was a highlight for the Lakeshow, but again we knew that was coming. In the losing effort, AK-47’s on the ball D kept the Jazz at least with a semblance of being in it. Joey Crawford’s ran a nice close out to stop a premature free throw, and looked a bit like Hannibal Lecter. The refs might be said to have stepped up with lots of fouls called and free throws attempted (The Jazz led the league in fouls committed and lead all playoff teams in opponents free throws attempted, and they committed four more fouls and thus gave up eight more free throws over their averages). Without a lot of surprises though, this series really calls for a call out. Jerry Sloan should really be called out for not believing in his team and then, during the game, trying to play mind games a la Phil Jackson. Maybe he's just bitter he's never won CoY despite the imminent HoF induction.

Nuggets-Hornets: Man, the Nugs looked like flying monkeys out there, and that’s no dig on them. They just seem to float around the rim, poised to jam it home. It's rarefied air up there, really. Especially evinced by Chauncey's big bombs-away night (8 for 9 from 3 equals 24, mama). Birdman was a spark plug, but what's really deserving of some credit: Birdman fan art. There was a bit of high art going on with those signs in Denver. Something like this:

Mavs-Spurs: Who knew the Mavs were still deep? Jose Juan Barea, Antwoine Wright, and Brandon Bass (granted, we knew about Bass). Even the usually rather damp Dampier was solid. Simmons cites Barea as going off "like five times this season," but for the energizing effect those games have deems JJ the 117th most "valuable" player in the league. Barrea looked like Devin Harris out there. But with that Tyron-Lue-on-Iverson-D (see: 2001 playoffs for the only time Tyron Lue was relevant) on Tony Parker. Barea cemented this win for the Mavs. Other big steppers: Josh Howard and Dirk Nowitzki’s rebounding. (Dirk Diggler's not the most prolific rebounder, we know, but on good days he pulls down all the right ones. Saturday was one of those days.)

Rockets-Blazers: We would be remiss not to mention Yao Ming's going Christian Laettner on dem young'ins, even though he's got about a billion point 0 on the household name recognition scale. He needed to come through, and he did. More relevantly for Stepping Up was Aaron Brooks. Pundits said Brooks’ contributions would be the difference, and they were. However, I don’t think there’s any difference needing to be made. Rockets would win this without Brooks dropping 27. After one, it looks like the young Blazers got themselves a stinker of a match-up. You could attribute the game one loss to jitters or to uncanny Rockets’ brilliance, but Portland hasn’t done well against this opponent all year. It’s too bad, since heading in to the playoffs it looked as if the Blazers would give fits to any team but Houston.

And those are your players/aspects stepping up in the first weekend of post-season play. It all continues tomorrow. No rest for the giddy, people. No diggity? No doubt.

By snagamat with No comments